3 Signs That the Person You Are Dating May Be a Christian Narcissist
Hey Queen!
Dating someone who identifies as a Christian should bring peace, spiritual growth, and mutual love rooted in Christ. However, not everyone who claims to be a follower of Jesus truly embodies his teachings. A Christian narcissist may use faith as a façade while exhibiting self-centered or manipulative behaviors. Here are three signs to watch for:
1. They Use Scripture to Control or Manipulate You
A Christian narcissist may twist biblical teachings to justify their behavior or exert control over you. Instead of reflecting God’s love and truth, they use scripture as a weapon to dominate or guilt-trip you.
What This Looks Like:
• They cherry-pick bible verses to demand submission while ignoring scriptures about mutual love and respect.
• They shame you for expressing concerns or setting boundaries, claiming that it’s “unchristian” behavior.
• They position themselves as spiritually superior, implying that you’re not godly enough to question them.
Why This Matters:
True Christian relationships are built on humility, love, and mutual respect—not manipulation or coercion. If someone uses faith to control you, it’s a sign of spiritual abuse.
2. They Lack Genuine Humility and Repentance
A hallmark of narcissism is an unwillingness to admit fault or take responsibility. A Christian narcissist may refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, instead deflecting blame or justifying their actions under the guise of being “called by God.”
What This Looks Like:
• They rarely apologize or show genuine remorse when they hurt you.
• When confronted, they minimize your feelings or blame you for “misunderstanding” them.
• They constantly seek admiration for their spiritual acts, but their private behavior contradicts their public persona.
Why This Matters:
Genuine followers of Christ are marked by humility and a willingness to repent when they fall short. A lack of repentance reveals a heart that isn’t fully surrendered to God.
3. They Prioritize Their Image Over Their Character
A Christian narcissist is often more concerned with appearing godly than actually living a Christ-centered life. They may focus on building a reputation for holiness while neglecting the fruits of the Spirit in their personal interactions.
What This Looks Like:
• They’re highly involved in church or ministry but treat you and others poorly behind closed doors.
• They crave recognition and praise for their faith-based accomplishments.
• They avoid accountability, surrounding themselves with people who validate their behavior rather than challenge them.
Why This Matters:
God values inner transformation over outward appearances. A truly godly person focuses on living with integrity and serving others, not on maintaining a façade.
Recognizing these signs can help you discern whether the person you’re dating is truly living out their faith or using Christianity as a cover for narcissistic tendencies. Seek God’s guidance in prayer, consult godly counsel, and evaluate the fruit of their character. Remember, a healthy Christian relationship should reflect Christ’s love, humility, and grace.
Would you like advice and resources for navigating the single season?
Remember Queen, you do not have to walk this journey alone. Let me hold your hand and walk with you.
Until next time, take care!
