How to Desire Marriage Without Being Desperate: A Guide for Christian Singles
Hey Queen!
Marriage is a beautiful and God-ordained covenant, and desiring it is natural and good. However, it’s important to balance this desire with trust in God’s timing and plan. Here are some practical and spiritual ways to desire marriage without falling into desperation:
1. Focus on Your Relationship with God
Your ultimate fulfillment comes from your relationship with Christ, not a spouse. When your identity is rooted in God, you’re less likely to feel desperate for a relationship.
How to Do This Practically:
• Spend time in prayer and worship, asking God to guide your desires.
• Meditate on Scriptures like Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
• Remember that God’s love is sufficient to meet your deepest needs.
2. Trust God’s Timing
Desperation often stems from impatience or fear of missing out. Trusting God’s timing allows you to wait with peace and confidence.
How to Do This Practically:
• Pray for patience and faith in God’s plan for your life.
• Reflect on verses like Ecclesiastes 3:1: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
• Remember that God’s timing is perfect, even if it doesn’t align with your expectations.
3. Set Healthy Expectations
Desiring marriage is good, but unrealistic or overly rigid expectations can lead to disappointment and desperation.
How to Do This Practically:
• Focus on finding someone with godly character rather than perfection.
• Be open to how God might bring your spouse to you, it may not be what you expect.
• Avoid comparing your journey to others’, trusting that God’s plan for you is unique.
4. Pursue Personal Growth
Use your singleness as a time to grow spiritually, and emotionally. Preparing yourself for marriage is about becoming the person God wants you to be.
How to Do This Practically:
• Invest in your spiritual growth through bible study, prayer, and serving others.
• Develop healthy habits, such as good communication skills and emotional maturity.
• Pursue interests and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment so that you don’t seek this from your spouse.
5. Guard Your Heart Against Idolatry
It’s easy to make marriage an idol, placing it above your relationship with God. Avoid making marriage the ultimate goal of your life.
How to Do This Practically:
• Regularly evaluate your priorities to ensure God remains first.
• Surrender your desire for marriage to God, trusting him to fulfill it in his way if it is his will for your life.
• Pray for contentment in your current season, knowing that God is enough. Listen to praise and worship music that reminds you of this!
6. Build a Godly Community
Surround yourself with believers who encourage you, hold you accountable, and remind you of God’s faithfulness.
How to Do This Practically:
• Join a small group or bible study to grow spiritually.
• Seek mentors who can guide you in your faith and relationship journey.
• Share your hopes and struggles with trusted friends who will pray with and for you.
7. Actively Prepare for Marriage
Desiring marriage doesn’t mean waiting passively. Actively prepare for the type of relationship you hope to have.
How to Do This Practically:
• Pray for wisdom and discernment in your dating life.
• Be open to meeting new people through church events or other faith-based activities.
• Work on becoming the kind of spouse you hope to attract.
Desiring marriage is good, but it should never overshadow your relationship with Christ or your trust in his plan for your life. By focusing on spiritual growth, setting healthy expectations, and trusting in God’s timing, you can approach this season of singleness with confidence and hope.
Would you like suggestions for other practical tips to help you navigate this season? If so, let me know down below in the comment section.
Remember Queen, you do not have to walk this journey alone. Let me hold your hand and walk with you.
Until next time, take care!
